Okay I feel like I have a part in making it hard for myself to settle as a transfer student here at my new school. Lately I’ve found myself restless yet tired and the cause is the same tedious routine day in and day out. I haven’t really made any new friends besides my roommate and a couple of old high school pals here. Because of that each day is just a cycle of waking up, going to class, doing homework and so on. I have really underestimated how easy it is to feel small in a big school. Weekends are far worse; I think staying inside my dorm all day can be unbearable; this small room can feel like a cage at times, the door is open but I’m too scared to walk out. Today we had a snow day and all classes were cancelled which slightly disappointed me because I felt trapped for an extra day. I am aware however that some of this is partly self inflicted partly from laziness and partly from fear. It’s all about effort on my part now I see what effects lack of effort can do to me. I think this is teaching me a lot about myself as well. Maybe I am not as independent as I would like to think myself to be and I need people and human activity around me. I think its all about balance. I will go to a club meeting this week if it kills me because this cannot go on.